余生请多指教 第十一章 【番外之我和三三的二十年】

所属目录:小说    余生请多指教作者:柏林石匠

三三是我的死党,幼儿园打架后英雄相惜,遂狼狈为奸至今。
之所以叫她三三,因为她在她这辈排行第三。
林老师有阵子被央视二台举案说法类的节目浸淫得很恶俗,听完我跟三三打电话,问:“你怎么不干脆叫小三呢?”
我无奈地看着他:“因为你排行第二……”
林老师是个单纯得心思从来都不会拐弯的人。我要敢叫一声小三,她绝对能用千百句老二砸死我。但是我叫她三三,她的反击除了让她舌根僵硬外没有任何杀伤力。
在外人眼里,我和三三是对完美的互补型闺蜜,一个闷骚一个彪悍,一个冰山一个热情,一个单调一个活泛,两人一路手拉手冲杀到初中毕业,然后考进两所不同的高中,然后……
鸿雁传书继续奸/情不断……
在那个手机不甚普及而小青年们又追求小情调的年代,我们俩隔着半个城市以平均一周一点五封信的频率干掉了无数信纸信封明信片,在三年只见了三次面的情况下,经受住了时间和距离的考验。囧……
三三是地道的理科生,选科是王道的理化组合,那阵子,她的口头禅就是,“学好数理化,走遍天下都不怕”。
我选的是地理物理,在理化班和史地班跑班上了一年多的课,高三下学期才在史地班有了稳定的座位。
三三在文科重点高中读理,我在理科重点高中读文,这是段纠结的岁月,不回忆。
三三总是嫌弃地说:“你丫就是个伪理科生!”
我说:“你不能因为你立体思维差从来算不对球体上两点间的距离就这么歧视地理。”
这是三三的死穴,她到现在都算不清楚公转角度自转角度同时作用下太阳会对一棵树的影子产生怎样的影响。或者类似一架由北纬30°东经120°的飞机在2012年2月29日23时以880公里的时速自西向东飞往南纬30°西经120°时,当地时间是几点这种问题……其实我还没跟你算地速空速转换……(三三:信不信我废了你!!)
她总说知道这种事没有什么实际意义,也不会在我说“迷失在空无一人的森林,根据一棵树就可以推断方向和时间,然后走出去!”这种激动人心的事件时配合地兴奋一下。所以说,学地理的人都是寂寞的……
高考之后,她以彪悍的物理成绩入主X市T大土木工程系。我以彪悍的地理成绩,入主离她136公里的Y市T大会计系……
“虽然大学里地理是正儿八经的理科,但是亲爱的你已经万劫不复了。”自此,三三把我彻底划出了理科生的范畴。
我很忧郁。
因为高中三年,没一个人当我是文科生……
我就是夹缝中顽强生长的——迎客松!(冷笑话……)
会计实在非我所愿,我是被调剂的。我一个长在红旗下,沐浴党恩中,三观正常根红苗正的孩子,真帐都不会做,怎么做假帐?!
为此,审计出身的娘亲由最早的“会计其实很简单”的循循善诱,到后来恨铁不成钢的“你这究竟遗传了谁!”,直至最后“你自生自灭吧”的放养,她很无奈,我也很无奈,因为我的专业课成绩其实不差……我只是不感兴趣。
所以我毫不犹豫地修了第二学位,大四那年考研转行。在三三进入X市一家设计院成为了一名青葱鲜嫩的工程师时,我拿到了X大的研究生录取通知书,成功会师。
关于研究生这个事,很多家长的第一反应都是,啊,爱学习的孩子,随后基本都会问:“读的什么专业?”
从这里开始,有差别待遇了。
你说,经济,人想,哇,真有钱……
你说,建筑,人想,哇,真彪悍……
你说,哲学,人想,哇,真深邃……
你说,物理,人想,哇,真学术……
你说,地质,人想,哇……你刚才说什么?
脸上往往呈现出难以形容的表情,混合着诧异,茫然,钝化……等多种情绪。我在22岁那年,在我妈脸上,第一次看到了这个表情。
我理解她对通知书上“地质学”三个字的震惊,一名成天和数字打交道的人,是无法理解我对这片土地的热爱的……(囧)
但是我也理解念在X大的份儿上,她不会削我。她捏着通知书,似笑非笑地哼了一声:“会计跨地质,够混搭的啊,跟谁学的?”
我试图搞活气氛:“林老师啊,你看林老师,他物理学混搭作曲。”要是搁现在,不但跨校跨专业跨学科,他还从文化生跨艺术生……
我妈最终选择了,继续放养……
三三是继我父母第三个知道这件事的人,她那画设计图的玉手把通知书拿过去一展,摸了摸,掸了掸,对我进行了精准的定位——贼!心!不!死!
三三,你太懂我了!
什么叫死党?死党就是如果我是男人,我一定不娶你!否则我私房钱要藏哪儿?!
三三和我都是很实用主义的人。比如:
她刚大一,我就定了她的毕业设计:“记得主题是我的婚房”。三嫌弃地看着我:“亲,我学的不是室内设计。”
我准研一的暑假陪她为她第一个接手的项目找灵感逛楼盘的时候,三三趁漂亮的售楼小姐指着样板房天花乱坠地胡侃时,迅速地调过头对我说:“给我算下B座一楼冬天的光照时间,快。”
我嫌弃地看着她:“三,地质学主要研究的是地球的物质构成和圈层构造……”
三三飞来一记眼刀:“那你给我预测个地震?!”
我……抬头望天,认命地在脑子里画三角,估算经纬度层高楼间距……
由此可见,第一,我们对对方的专业领域理解得毫不透彻,第二,她是S我是M……不过这并不影响我们的友谊历久弥新。因为我们深知对方都不是明面儿上的样子。她说我脾气好但不能掩盖腹黑的体质,那她就是洋溢着御姐气质内心柔情的豆腐西施……
所以她在反抗父母安排工作绝食的那天,我吃着她的那份午饭,一脸不经意地用一连串“父母安排通天大路,走出一曲人生悲歌”的社会恶性事件成功说服了她父母。在我妈和我冷战两顿饭后,她挽着我妈出去散了一小时的步,用“哪个父母不为子女好,哪个子女想让父母担心?”这个在我看来和地质学完全没有任何关系的柔情攻略搞定了我妈。
所以我们互补,我们臭味相投,我们互相善后……
二十多年的相伴,我们的感情早已超越了友情。在对方的人生道路上,进进出出得肆无忌惮。
和顾魏领证之后的某天,我和三三吃饭,吃完被她拖去KTV唱了三个多小时“朋友一生一起走”……
我能理解那种看着最亲密的朋友和自己形影不离的时间逐渐转移到另一个人身上时,憋闷酸胀但又打心眼里为对方高兴的感觉。
没有三三的推波助澜,可能我和医生不会如此顺利地一路走下来。
亲爱的三三,很多事,介于不说憋屈和说了矫情之间。而矫情的我们一般都不会选择矫情地说出来。咱都这么多年了,未来我们会一直这么走下去的。
最后,三三,你抓紧时间减肥,我给你定的伴娘礼服还是抹胸的那款,穿不上你就只能披床单了,是惊艳还是惊悚,你自己选。

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